Five Ways to avoid the “Mother’s Day Guilt Trap”

Happy Mother’s Day!

sad-1929544__340Here are the beginnings of three ads that popped up this week on the internet:

“Mom was always there for those big milestones.  But also for life’s little moments.”
“Thanks mom for being the best mom from day one.”
“You know she’s the greatest mom ever, make this her best Mother’s Day ever.”

Question to mom’s out there. Do you appreciate those sentiments, or do they make you throw up just a little in your mouth?  Were you there for ALL the big milestones and little moments?  Were you THE BEST mom from DAY ONE?  Are you the GREATEST MOM EVER?  If you answered yes to all those, open a new window and google:  “modesty workshop near me”.  If you answered no to those, maybe this Scripture will help you:

This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.  If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.  If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  (1 John 1:5-9 NIV)

Good news Moms. You don’t have to be perfect, rather lean on God and receive His grace!  On Mother’s Day, I hope you felt honored, but not because you are the Best Mom the world has ever known from day 1 who was always there for major achievements and scratched knees.  But because once you became a mom, part of your role in the Body of Christ was automatically imparted to you and you took your post.  And when you don’t live up to a Mother’s Day Card or a YouTube commercial, God’s grace is available and sufficient for you. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)  His power is perfected in your weakness.  So, mom, stop feeling guilty for what you could have done better and the struggles of your kids, and allow some of that grace you are so good at showering on your kids to rain down on you.  Every area where you fell short was paid for by Jesus on the cross.  Receive some of Paul’s inspired words:

Philippians 3:15 – Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

Below are five ways to avoid the Mother’s Day Guilt Trap:

1. Be Specific in Your Gratitude for Mom

Anna Jarvis (founder of Mother’s Day) quote: “Any mother would rather have a line of the worst scribble from her son or daughter than any fancy greeting card.”

Instead of “you’re the best”, thank your mother for specific things you remember and are grateful for. Did she teach you how to cook, force you to eat vegetables, give you the birds-and-bees talk, clean up all of your body fluids after you got sick?

2. Offer Grace for Your Mom’s Shortcomings

Acknowledge her challenges, be understanding about her failures, forgive her weaknesses.

3. Confess and Release Any Hard Feelings

We tend to hold our mother’s in high esteem, which is great, but we shouldn’t let that become an unrealistic expectation that they should never have messed up, or an arrogant thought that we have surpassed them somehow. Release judgement, high expectations, unforgiveness, anger, irritation, dismissal.

4. Encourage Other Mothers

Acknowledge their difficulties, encourage them to be honest, be a safe place of grace, celebrate their triumphs.

5. Accept Grace for Yourself

Not limited to mothers, but if you are a mom, examine your guilt. Be honest with yourself and others. Confess to the Lord. Lay it at His feet. Accept His forgiveness and grace.

Happy Mother’s Day!

3 thoughts on “Five Ways to avoid the “Mother’s Day Guilt Trap”

  1. So true, love your mother and tell what she did in your life that made such impact on your life. My mother has gone home to the Lord 10 years now and I miss her more than ever. I also know that I have made mistakes with my son. But we have talked and all is good now, but I had to face the Lord first ask for his forgiveness. Praise the Lord He is faithful.

    Like

    1. Yes kimskaggs79! Receive the grace from the Lord that He is faithful in giving.

      Most of the mothers I know are experts at giving grace to their children, but need to work at receiving grace.

      Like

  2. I like the idea that God can show His power through our weakness. I really don’t have to pretend to be supermom all the time, or else all I’d be doing is promoting myself.

    Liked by 1 person

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